I trained my boyfriend to cum hands free.

My boyfriend (ex) and I had been playing around with femdom tease and denial for a long time at this point. Cumming hands free was one of his biggest fantasies and the idea of that turned me on as well.

After doing research and getting some ideas, this is what I came up with. 

I’d tell him to get naked and start jerking off in front of me as I took a dildo and placed it right next to his cock. 

I instructed him to mirror every motion I made on the dildo - when I was stroking the shaft, he was stroking the shaft. When I was sucking on the tip, he would massage the tip, etc.

He was only allowed to ruin his orgasm - he would get to the point of no return, let go of his cock and I would keep stroking the dildo.

Another little psychological trick that worked like a charm - after letting go of his cock I told him to really try to hold it in, like his life depended on it. He would fail and it created a connection in his brain - as much as he tried not to cum, me touching that dildo equaled an orgasm.

In the beginning it was only a couple of seconds of “hang time” in between my boyfriend letting go of his cock and shooting a load, but after a month of training he was able to manipulate his orgasm with sometimes even ~20 seconds of hang time. Trying his best to hold in his load, but failing every time. All while watching me work the dildo with my hands and mouth.

After that I introduced a cage and decreased the amount of training sessions, focusing more on quality rather than quantity. Making sure he was throbbing and desperate for each one.

Since putting on the cage I would say on average we did a session once in 4 days, with zero contact in between, for another month. That seemed to be the sweet spot for him. Because of the build up he would cum within a couple of minutes, sometimes even faster.

Now that I had trained him to cum prematurely and ruin his orgasm with a long hang time. It was time to take the next big step. 

He would still be locked up (besides training sessions, I would only unlock him for hygiene purposes or at night for sleeping). The only difference now was that he was only allowed to edge mirroring my movements, but with every session the amount of time I allowed him to touch his cock decreased.

While he was not touching his cock I instructed him to be extremely mindful of what I’m doing with the dildo. Whether my tongue was going up and down the shaft or I was stroking the head, etc. I told him to really visualize how every movement feels on his cock. Basically doing the same exact thing as we did before, but instead of doing it with his hand, now he was using his mind to give himself pleasure.

Soon enough I would not even allow him to touch his cock at all. He would only meditate on me working the dildo. Laying there with a throbbing cock, uncontrollably leaking precum. We would talk dirty to each other as if that dildo was his actual dick. 

After doing this for another 5 weeks something magical happened - as I was slobbering over the dildo and telling my boyfriend how good his cock tastes, suddenly I saw ropes of cum fly up in the air and land on his chest. I was so ecstatic  that I started sucking him off for real and gave him a proper orgasm as well as some post orgasm torture. It was a truly amazing sight.

For anyone who’s working on hands free orgasms  - in my experience the most important part here is to set up a good base mentally and not put too much pressure on achieving the goal. Both parties need to genuinely enjoy the process. Yes, the goal is to cum hands free, but like anything else in life - if you get too much in your head and try to force it, you end up taking three steps back. 

What I found is that it’s completely psychological. The physical build up does help a lot, but it won’t take you all the way there, because your body has other ways to help you alleviate that (wet dreams).

From the beginning I told my boyfriend to not even think about the end goal and just indulge into the endless tease and denial. At the end of the day, it’s not a college assignment, the whole point of this is to explore and enjoy, that’s it.

Hope you enjoyed sharing my experience and who knows, you might even find it useful.